Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
