youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
