In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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