You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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