Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
