hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she peed on how many people?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
