they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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