He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
