Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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