I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
