I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
