Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
