She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
