Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We need to get me chipped asap
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
