He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
