Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
id be glad to
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
