it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
