You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
