sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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