They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
