I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
