i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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