Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
