We're like a lot better than the average bears
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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