thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
