So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
