My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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