I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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