OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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