it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
