For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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