Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
