One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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