He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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