I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
