exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
