I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
