FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
