k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
