And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
