I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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