shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
