We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
