If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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