ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
