I just saw a hot homeless man
oh god the rape fog is back!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
