So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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