Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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