If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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