problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
