Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
